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Why we can't actually lose our confidence

Confidence isn’t something that can be lost like your car keys. Feelings come and go. But where do they come from? Well contrary to what most of us think they DON’T come from circumstances.

I didn’t see that until being asked “How worrying is a problem when you’re not thinking about it?” I’m only worried about a problem when it’s on my mind. I can go to bed worried about something then wake up without it on my mind. Then a solution appears.

Our feelings come from our thoughts. That’s it. Learning that means children can manage their feelings. Not ‘getting’ it in the heads but getting it in their hearts. And I help them do that through play because children learn more when they’re having fun. They learn that feelings come from thoughts like juice comes from fruit. In no time at all they’re creating confident coconuts to make them feel confident. And they’re getting rid of worried watermelons.

A note of caution – telling children to be confident when they’re worried doesn’t usually work, like when someone tells us to cheer up when we’re a bit down doesn’t usually work. So telling them to put a confident coconut into their head won’t work, but when the child figures out what to do for themselves - THAT really works. 95% of children say they can change their feelings more easily after an hour’s session.

Come along to a session to boost your 6 to 8 year old's confidence at The West Park Hotel Harrogate on June 30th


SOURCE: Simon Benn